At supper in West Hollywood
The redacted transcript of a dinner conversation between two entrepreneurs at Kitchen24 in West Hollywood, California. The conversation takes place in a neutral North American accent.
Jonathan Eppers: I am so sorry I had to push this dinner off four times. Did you know that we built and launched Little Black Book in under two months? That and my full time job at eHarmony, and the running of FirstString. Craziness. Insanity. Linsanity. [Chuckles at own sports-themed humour.]
Ezra Butler: No worries. I have things to do as well. You know. Anyway the prototype I built for the startup is live. I’ll just take out my MacBook and connect to the wi-fi and show you.
Jonathan: I’m so stoked for you. I know exactly the problem you are trying to solve and your solution, as you explained it, is ingenious.
[Waiter brings over two 1 inch thick menus.]
Ezra: [To waiter] Would you mind bringing the password to the wi-fi?
Waiter: Sure.
Ezra: So Jonathan, I was testing out Little Black Book and it counted an individual I rendezvoused twice with as two different people.
Jonathan: Yeah, you told me about that. Show me the error.
Ezra: [Embarrassed to reveal his deepest, most intimate, secrets to another person] Sure.
Jonathan: [Examines screen, maintains clinical composure] Oh, when you add the person a second time, you just have to add him like this. But enough about Little Black Book, tell me about [redacted].
[Waiter comes over to take orders.]
Waiter: [To Ezra] The wi-fi password is kitchen24-weho.
Ezra: [To waiter] That doesn’t work.
[Waiter leaves to ask manager for password again.]
Ezra: I can’t show you it right now. By the way, I am so fascinated by the anonymous data you must have from all the people who have signed up to use it.
Jonathan: I can’t go out to a party these days without, like, five guys showing me their Little Black Books. Last week, a fight almost broke out at a club because [redacted] saw that [redacted] fucked [redacted]. It was awesome. [Smiles broadly.]
Ezra: That is brilliant. Have you looked at the raw data yet?
Jonathan: No, not yet. We’ve been focusing on the user experience and getting rid of bugs. But in less than three weeks, we’ve had over 2,000 hook-ups recorded.
Ezra: Holy Christ.
[Waiter returns with food.]
Waiter: [To Ezra] The password is, like I told you before, kitchen24-weho.
Ezra: [To waiter] And as I told you before, it doesn’t work.
Ezra: [Mutters to self] Jesus. [To Jonathan] Let’s have some fun with the data. Let’s figure out what is the most common sexual practice, how many different partners the average user has.
Jonathan: The most common location of the hookup. Which day of the week has the most action.
Ezra: Oh my fucking G-d. Let’s make an…
Ezra and Jonathan: [In unison] Infographic.
[Waiter returns]
Waiter: I’m sorry. I spoke with the manager. Apparently there is a problem with MacBooks connecting to our router.
[Waiter leaves]
Ezra: Let’s just look at my prototype on my iPhone. [Shows website]
Jonathan: That is so cool. So, how do you think we should do this infographic?
Ezra: Send me some raw data and we’ll have some fun. [To passing waiter] Check please.
Jonathan: Great. This is so cool. I’ll have my team build the filtering tool over the weekend and we’ll have it done within a week.
Ezra: We’ll call it fucking statistics.
Ezra and Jonathan split the check evenly, stand, partake in a brief, overtly platonic, hug and leave in opposite directions.
Ezra Butler is the Editor-at-Large of London-based magazine The Kernel and trying to raise a round of financing to launch a startup in an undisclosed, but unrelated, field. Jonathan Eppers is a MySpace alumnus, currently employed as the Senior Product Manager at online dating giant eHarmony. A side project of Mr Eppers is called The Little Black Book.