Are you enjoying Feng Shui Week?

Milo Yiannopoulos catches up with an exciting festival of ideas currently taking London by storm.

London is currently enjoying the fruits of Feng Shui Week, an annual coalition of events designed to broaden horizons and refine collective approaches to integrated solutions.

Feng shui was popular in 2005, but since then the industry has become saturated with hucksters and con artists who think owning a sofa is sufficient qualification for them to hold forth on the arcane intricacies of domestic geometry.

While once it was seen as a useful albeit small component of an interior designer’s arsenal, such is the ridicule in which it is now held the industry speaks almost entirely to itself, having been abandoned by most of the clients it previously leeched off.

But Feng Shui Week celebrates the more respectable end of today’s confusing web of agencies with talks and panel discussions designed to help you rearrange your furniture to usher in hitherto unimagined levels of health, wealth and success.

Discussions include: “Did IKEA help kick off the Second World War?”, “Influencers: choosing a feng shui consultant”, “The new Boden futon: a user’s guide”, “Connected leadership: key challenges and learnings from a year in feng shui”.

Critics have dubbed the industry, which is currently experiencing something of an identity crisis, “a deckchairs on the Titanic talking shop”, but organisers of this year’s festival remain upbeat.

And although some have criticised feng shui practitioners as hopeless, illiterate fraudsters clinging like limpets to the marketing budgets of the major furnishings manufacturers, Feng Shui Week aims to show that there is more to feng shui consultants than their colossal consulting bills.

“What people don’t understand is that as well as taking their money we’re also laughing all the way to the collectable Star Wars figurine shop,” said Guru Maz, a leading figure in the movement.

Who knew there was a right and a wrong way to arrange your pillows for maximum date-to-dirty-deed conversion?

You can find out more about the exciting panels and workshops going on this week here.